The day everything gets put into perspective, and the transformation begins on my inner self

Saturday 10^th September, 2011.

The day everything gets put into perspective, and the transformation begins on my inner self.

It is truly hard for me to convey the the emotions I get reading all the feedback I have received for my first blog in which I announced to the world that I was attempting a 12 week challenge to lose 20kg before christmas.  The comments I have received from so many of my friends, even those I have not seen or heard from in years, has been awesome.  Lots of the feedback (much to my delight) has come back positive.  A few of my friends and family have even gone as far as to give me ‘positive critical feedback’ which I will be sure to refer back to over the next few weeks to help boost my sorrowful emotions and give me that extra boost I’ll need to keep going.  I have however, also noticed a trend in the feedback and comments.  2 to be exact:

1) Melinda, you cannot lose 20kgs in that period of time.  It is simply too much and you do not have that much excess weight to lose;

2) Melinda, are you sure you’re doing this for the right reasons with the right motivations? 

So, today I will clarify and answer.

20kgs is too much in too little time

Ok, 20kgs admittedly is a lot of weight.  I know this and understand this.  I personally don’t know anyone (or know anyone who knows anyone) who has lost 20kgs in 12 weeks.  Though, on the same hand, I don’t know anyone who has attempted AND completed a 12 week challenge quite like mine.  Since grade 8, when I completed my very first BMI test in PE class I was horrified.  After making me stand on the scales in front of the assistant teacher (which was a personal challenge in itself) and measuring my height, my BMI stated and my PE teacher told me that I was unhealthyly sitting in the ‘Obese’ category.  Motivation number 1!  Need I say more?  As a hormonal 13 year old girl vying for the attention of any boy she could get, I did not handle being told that I am medically obsese all that well.  I left school that afternoon shattered, crying to my mum and dad telling them that my PE teacher called me obese (Dramatic?  Maybe.  But it was true.).  Since then, 10 years later at the ripe old age of 23, not much has changed.  I still feel the sting of tears in my eyes everytime I calculate my horrid BMI.  The outcome is still always ‘Obese’.  So, my main goal in losing this amount of weight is to clean skip out of the ‘Obese’ category, completely bypass the ‘Overweight’ category (do not pass go, do not collect $200), and land straight into ‘Healthy’ land.  How much weight do I need to lose to enter the land of ‘Healthy’?  20kgs sir; give or take a couple of hundred grams.  Hence the reason for the goal of 20kg.  Pretty justifiable I say.

Right motivations

Yep, I know what you’re all thinking, she broke up with her ex, she’s going through a mid life crisis and wants to find a new boyfie so she’s losing weight.  Wrong wrong wrong my friends!  Ok, maybe a little right but still very much wrong.  For those who have known me for a while, know that I have never EVER had a body like a rake.  Never have I graced the size 8 racks, and very long ago did I ever buy a size 10 top.  I have big boobs, a big be-hind, large thighs, muscular calves, and a bit of a floatie around my waist line (I swear it’s getting bigger in my old age too).  Before January, I didn’t really even care all that much what other people thought of me as I was in a steady (ish) long term relationship.  Yes, now that I am single I am noticing the rolls around my belly and the extra 2 chins I might be carrying (I will neither confirm nor deny that that is true) when I spot a cute guy walking down the street.  I suck my gut in, put my head up, stick my bum out, hold my breath and hope to God that he does not notice me turning purple due to the lack of oxygen entering my head cavity.  I have always hoped, and still do, that if I ever fall in love again and heaven forbid he loves me back, that he will love me for all right reasons, and there are no influences to do with my body.  Put simply, I am not losing weight to meet a bloke as it still doesn’t convey to him what type of a person I really am.

Today, my beautiful mother and I had a complete pamper and makeover day.  We went and treated ourselves to a fantastic makeover at Napoleon Perdis and spent the early afternoon at the Primped.com.au Look Book event at David Jones Queens Plaza surrounded by beautiful people (Now please hum to Marylin Manson).  While there, it got me thinking about a few of the comments people had made to me about “hoping I was wanting to do this for me” and “hoping that I will be able to continue with it even if another signifcant event may happen to occur in my life in the meantime” (because we all know life is full of surprises).  Right now in life, I have absolutely nothing to complain about.  I have a fantastic family, a great job and awesome friends.  In that instance, there really isn’t a lot that I truly have to work towards right now – except improving my own self.  By starting this challenge, I set myself a goal to work towards, and really the only person I’d genuinely disappoint if I didn’t complete it would be myself.  Think about it?  Would my bestie really disown me if I didn’t lose 20 kgs?  No.  She loved me before the challenge, and will love me afterwards despite it.  I am doing this for ME.  To help ME try and display the person I am on the inside on the outside too.  And ultimately complete something I have started!  And hey, if I happen to meet a tall dark and handsome cutie on the way … Bonus!

On a final note, I must say one last thing.  I PROMISE, if I’m going to do something I will do it properly, and it doesn’t matter how long it takes, I will just finish it (Thank you MP)!  Thank you to all my family and friends for the mounds of support I am already receiving.  I will prove to you all that I am worth it!

Mel x.